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Norman Maine Publishing
Big Dog/Norman Maine Publishing, LLC
P.O. Box 1401
Rapid City, SD 57709
FAX: 605-791-0186


Get Off My Cabbage!

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Get Off My Cabbage! Full-Lengths

By: L. Don Swartz
Cast: 2 M, 2 F
Performance Time: Approximately 60-75 mins,

Get Off My Cabbage!

COMEDY. In this hilarious sequel to Regrets Only, cranky curmudgeons Lottie and Bernice are back and they are grumpier than ever! This time they are lounging on Lottie’s front porch selling cabbages and passing the time reading newspaper obituaries, spying on their neighbors with binoculars, analyzing Anna Skupka’s butt lift, wondering if the local peeping Tom will stop by to see their underpants, and flinging doggie doo-doo at a passerby. Meanwhile, Hal and Sal, who are now working as house painters, are sitting on the porch of an abandoned home next door eating lunch and arguing whether Sal has a thing for Brad Pitt, lamenting the dangers of can lids, and discussing the merits of deli meat, cow tongue sandwiches, and colonoscopies. There’re plenty of cabbages, curmudgeons, and crazies in this side-splitting play!

Big Dog Paw Freeviews: To read play excerpts click here.

Please remember it is necessary to purchase one script for each cast member and one royalty for each performance.

Scripts: $8.95 each
Royalty: $75.00/performance
Prompt Book: $16.00
Poster Package: $50.00 (50/pkg)
Distribution Rights: $75.00
Artwork Rights: $50.00
Play Pack: $184.00  (7 scripts for cast/crew, 1 royalty, 50 posters, 1 prompt book)

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L. Don Swartz L. Don Swartz is an award-winning playwright whose plays have been performed nationally and internationally. Mr. Swartz has served as the artistic director of the Starry Night Theatre, North Tonawanda, NY, since 1982 and has directed more than 150 productions. He lives in Wheatfield, NY, with his wife, Debby, and their four children, Emily, Rosie, DJ, and Mikey.

Independent Theatre